A journey from Laos to the Carlsbad flower fields: A story of prevalence
My mom and great aunt at the Carlsbad Flower Fields in California.
On this day when I went to the Carlsbad flower fields with my great aunt and my mom, my great aunt insisted on taking a photo on the tractor. We waited in line and since I didn’t like being in photos, I was the designated photographer in addition to all the selfies they wanted to take haha. It was a really nice evening and a great break from being at home all the time as we were in a period of recession from COVID-19 infections. 2020-2021 of COVID-19 made home life almost unbearable at times.
Growing up in San Diego, more American than Lao, I took all the things I experienced there as typical. Flower fields? Gorgeous! Flowers? Did I take enough close ups? Photos of us? Ehhh I’ll just take some shots for my mom and great aunt. Whatever they want, but quick– I need to get back to that pretty pink flower. That day I took photos of them while also obsessing over photos of the bright and manicured flower fields of Carlsbad, California.
Looking back to that day, when I took the photo of my mom and great aunt posing on the tractor, I thought it was such an awkward and cliché photo setup. Reflecting on it now however, I realize all of my flower photos were pretty shallow, while that tractor photo that I thought was a cliché was actually the most meaningful one I could have taken.
When they were younger, my great uncle was a part of the Laos military who aided the US in the Vietnam war. While that war was all sorts of horrific, I can’t deny that it provided a way for my family to immigrate to the US as refugees. My great aunt recognized it for was when the US was offering a chance for them to immigrate to the US as refugees. It as a once in a lifetime opportunity and through her wisdom, she paved a path our family members to seize that same opportunity. Because of her and my great uncle, my mom was able to make a very brave decision to leave everything she knew and loved so that she could journey to a land of unknown opportunity despite not knowing the language or culture. Her choice was not easy and when she shared her story with me, I couldn’t help but cry, I could feel how painful it was for her to make that choice and brave the perils of escaping Laos. It’s not something she wants to dwell on and a pain she doesn’t want me to know. She didn’t share that story with me until I asked when I was 32 years old.
In thinking about their stories and looking back on this picture, I don’t know what I feel. Tears well up as I am writing this and I am so overwhelmed. I am sad for what they had to endure in order to achieve what they have now. My guilt is so heavy from being a demanding selfish brat as I grew up without even realizing how much they were trying to make us a home in a land they didn’t know. Now that I know, I am so grateful for the choices they made so that I could grow up and freely choose my own path. I love them so much for being such strong and beautiful women who nurtured and taught me so much. I feel so lucky that I could have them as my role models.
They made a choice in a tumultuous situation, faced the consequences of that choice, and they prevailed. As a witness to their stories I am honored to be able to share a small part of their story with you.
As a witness to their journey, this photo encapsulates the struggle and hope blooming along the way.
